20090210 23:54, December 17, 2010 (UTC)

What happened. Unsure how to word, too use to writing in implications. But whatever, I’ll just say what there is to be said. Parents left. Felt tired of laying around the house sick. Read an Email and replied. Unsure how relevant the topics discussed are. Perhaps more suitable as a footnote. Most footnotes aren’t 15000 words. Oh well. Did a quick referencing of information and cartography to figure unknowns before leaving. Much laughter at how I do random things when sick. Too tired to not do anything. I convinced myself I wouldn’t do anything in the end though. That’s the problem with conflicting selves, always have to lie to get things done

Music that happened to be playing in my head was Notwist’s Alphabet and Good Lies

So I biked for an hour thinking. About how half my nose was enflamed. How life is meaningless and therefore all we have to live for is vain idealism. That I contradict myself with every word. Of why I do what I do. Of the odd look I’d probably get for just randomly showing up when it isn’t even known that I know. Of how one gives reasoning after choosing to do something. Laughter. Great how much faster the mind can tick when it gets confused as to why it is doing what it is doing

So an hour later I’m at the circle. Stood around a bit, stood at the door. Children were running around screaming so I just walked off some other place. Then I stood at the door again. Thought along the lines of “This is who I am so if things go wrong then they should so fuck it I don’t care” before giving a quick poke at the doorbell (I didn’t knock)

Her mother answered the door. Some words that I forget the details of went by before I was told to step inside and callings occured. Stared at the nameless cat. Traded a lost hello for a confused hello. When asked how I got there, my answer was “I ended up here”. When asked from where I came, I answered from “My home” “Can he be here for like an hour? Or I don’t know, whenever you want to leave” “Whenever” Notings of the house being where life took place. Offering of orange juice and tissues upon information of my minor ailment. Notings of grandness. Notings of how basements are fun. Weird room, has to go through brother’s room. The room is pink, as would be expected after the teacher laughed upon reading that the room was pink when a question on a test was “Quelle est la couleur de votre chambre?” and had expected something like black

Wall is covered in pictures. Small mobile of glass dolphins. Two lights. One on the ceiling the other a pillar from the floor. Ceiling takes a moment to start. Noted dislike for light. Note to hang pillar as a chandelier received note that it’d be a bit low. TV sits on a cabinet. Her mother hands me a broken chair that’s fun to teeter on with the whole clickiness after complaining that there isn’t even a chair in the room. She sits on the floor. Statements on how the room was just cleaned. I begin breaking apart the glued part of wrappers on the floor

Was asked how I found the house. Stated people say more about themselves than they realize. Confused. Talked about there being only one other plausible place but that it wasn’t in a circle. Confused as to how I knew the number. I stated that the house had the number. Moved on

“Branch prediction is so wrong” “What?” “Branch prediction is so wrong. But you don’t really get it that much, do you?” “No, not really”

Asked if she ever stacked her room. She hadn’t. Began stacking pencils

Brother came home and asked me if I was high. I stated that I was never high and asked him if he was high. He said yes then said no. I stated that he said yes and then said no. He said okay and left while I laughed

Sister came in and asked if she could go on the computer. Noting that she had been on for an hour today already. I noted that I often spend over twelve hours during weekends. Received note that cases are different with four children families

Finished the orange juice and set the glass on the cabinet after asking where to place the glass and being told to just leave it anywhere. Sat down off chair. Laid down but sat up after noting the ceiling light. Scraped carpet and looked at pattern it formed. Ended up with a mass of hair off the ground and dropped it when it was noted that I was holding a mass of fallen hair

Brother played metal music. “This is what I wake up to”. He liked singing with it. He had some friends over who were playing video games. There was a stating of “Whoa” randomly. On topic of the weirdness of video games in line with reality I asked what one is thinking when they’re stating “Whoa”. Was twiddling with a pencil and a paper clip and was asked what I was thinking about. Tried to word. Paper clip fell and I stated “Whoa”

Mother came in and noted that there was homework to do. Affirmed that it would be done. “My mother just nods” “Yes well I’m a special mother”

Much sitting and laughing. Looking at everything “What are you laughing about?” “Everything” “I’m glad I decided to come here”

Had to go to the bathroom. While walking through her brother’s room I asked how often he realized his room was green. He stated he didn’t know. I exclaimed that he didn’t know and her mother seemed confused. Weird bathroom, wall is a mirror. Ended up in a conversation with her mother. Sadly I forget about what it was. Her father was standing down the hall and I started laughing. He looked apathetically confused. Was told by her mother that I didn’t have to stand around talking with her and that I could go

More sitting and laughing. Talk of the failure of yardsales and the grades of school. Of seniority having say of who gets what room and closets that have entrances at both sides. Preferences of clutter. Waking to wake. Of time since someone had visited. Of what makes a silence awkward. Hassle of walking through brother’s room after a shower. Of asians

Started rubbing fabrics that surrounded. Was noted

Time was noted. Scheduling concluded I should make leave. Mother also gave departs. I was asked how far I lived. I noted time of departure and Hale and it was decided that I live an hour away. I was asked by both if I wanted food for my journey. I noted on the second occasion the overlap of words. She said she should randomly show up at my home some time or another. Reasoned it as curiosity. Was told by both to come again some time. Mother said that I could come and just talk to her so that we could twist our minds. My use of three hats was noted as protection for the head. Discussion of genius began. Statement that everything is complicated after noting the complicated nature of French lead to notings of simplicity being beautiful and so it was noted that everything is energy that comes from a source and ends at the source

Ride home was like teleportation, as we discussed when returning from the random lowland. Just reviewed all that had happened

Return received query of where I had been. “Biking” was noted before taking leave to sleep

But of course that’s nothing of the unawkward silences